A Crowded Room

I don't sleep much. This is nothing new. There are several reasons and I've tried everything for it.

Bottom line: If energy doesn't flow around me, I can't rest. It will drive me fucking insane. When your housemate is a hoarder and you're anything like me, you're fucked. Energy is everything to me. I'm extremely in tune with it. When it becomes stagnant, I cant breathe.

Reason #2: Some times those dead people just won't shut up. Recently, I was able to release a very sweet spirit that had been hanging around me for about a month. She was always there, but she was quiet. I would wake up at night and see her sitting on the floor next to me. Let me back up... this shit does not freak me out. It's always been there but I haven't always talked about it. Now, I consider a part of what I do. Anyway, she was recently released with a client that she was attached to.

Apparently now that she is gone, there are several more deciding they need to show up. I don't mind. I try to listen, but when it's a handful of voices at one time, it becomes very overwhelming. I have to figure out with each one if they are showing up because they have something they need to say to someone, or if they are just passing through and soaking up some of the energy in the room to get them where they are going. Sometimes they will stick around just long enough to drop a little clue. A hint to something that I will run into in the near future. That little message they gave me will apply somehow. It's all pretty cool actually.

I have never claimed to be a medium and I never will. I don't focus on talking to the dead. I'm just here if they decide they want to have a conversation.

 Let me walk you through a typical late evening.

As I sit here on the couch with only the Christmas tree lit, I have my feet up and I'm comfortable under a blanket. Earphones are in (they help block out the noise) and I'm trying to concentrate on what I'm typing.

I look towards the other end of the couch. There sits a shadow. A little hunched over and he's having a hard time breathing. He coughs and then a silhouette of his face begins to appear. At first, I thought this may be my father, but then I remember he always calls me by name first. He's wearing a red and black flannel shirt with weathered blue jeans and muddy work boots. I wonder if he is someone that lived here at one time in the past.

I look across the room and there's another. This shadow is about 4 feet tall and is very active, almost bouncing. It's another child. He's been here before and passes through often. I'm not sure where he goes, but I'd like to think he feels visiting here is safe.

A friend of a friend who passed away a few weeks ago is over my right shoulder. He's happy but still figuring out his next step.

Across the room and through the doorway to the hall is my sister. We have a deal. She can hang out but at a distance. At no time is she allowed to touch me or any of the energy that I put off. If I walk in her direction, she has to move. She is not allowed to bring any negative energy with her. These boundaries had to be set up three times before she learned to listen. I had the help of two mediums to make sure she understood how the game is played. She's afraid to move on and for a while she felt like she didn't have to. She was leaving it up to me to help her. Not my circus, not my monkeys. She was sucking me dry like a vampire. I was sick, tired and sad. I honestly felt as if I had a serious health problem. This went on for almost a year. I could constantly feel her... but she was literally attached to me. She would not let go. Thank goodness for the two ladies that worked with me. Now, she's pretty quiet and keeps her distance. I don't know if she will ever fully move on.

So, there's my room full of company for tonight. Don't get me wrong, I love being aware. I actually feel pretty honored that they don't mind showing themselves around me. Some will dart around a corner as you catch a glimpse.

I get asked a lot how I deal with seeing "it" all the time. I don't see anything clearly unless I focus. There are times where someone is extremely clear all the time, like the little girl I mentioned. But usually its all muddled until I begin to separate the pieces. It's like strong background noise. Hence, not being able to sleep.

So for now, I will tell them all good night in hopes they will quiet down long enough for me to doze off. Around 3:00 the next group will visit and I'll be awake again. I don't mind that group either. It always smells like a Sunday morning country breakfast is cooking.